Wow...It's been another year.

It's been awhile since I have written a blog! I don't guess I realized how long it had been. Time is flying by at a rate that is very scary to me. Camden has decided to talk about next year, you know, when he is in ____ grade. I haven't even blogged about his Kindergarten year, and he's already moving up in his mind.

This past year seriously flew by at the speed of light. I honestly have trouble even remembering things because it seemed to go by so fast. Here are a few highlights of the last year:

1. In January, after struggling through first semester with what was my most "trying" class in a long time, I was blessed with a student teacher. I will forever be grateful for her coming into my classroom and jumping right in. She helped me make it through the year. We laughed together, taught together, enjoyed gas station biscuits together, and hopefully she learned something about teaching. God knows exactly what we need when we need it.

2. My dad had surgery that was supposed to be routine and ended up being extremely ill for quite some time. However, yet again, he pulled through. I know, for certain, that my dad is one of the strongest people I know.  And I also know that God has reasons for keeping him here with us:)

3. My family became whole again. I love my sisters and I am thankful for each and every one of them.

4. My sweet boy began his first year of park ball (see blog about that) and I turned into a mom from Toddlers and Teeballs (credited to Chris Burrell). I enjoyed every. single. minute.

5. My best friend lost her father unexpectedly (I hope she doesn't mind me including this). I felt so helpless. This person is like my family. We haven't known each other forever, but it feels like we have. She is truly my adopted sister. Watching her go through that was just awful, not to mention it hit close to home. I will admit that I questioned, "Why?" He had not been sick and was young. It's hard to remember sometimes that God has a plan. Also, there are not enough words to comfort someone going through this. I just hope she felt my love and knew that my heart ached for her. I still pray for strength for her daily.

6. I was asked to move grade levels at the end of the school year. I said no, no, no. Then I prayed about it. My answer became yes, yes, yes. Wow, the power of prayer. The peace that I had about the decision to say yes was like no other I have ever had. I hate making decisions. I always, always question myself. This time, God showed me very clearly what I was supposed to do. Enlightening.

7. I found out that I am going to be a great aunt again. My niece and best friend, after trying for 5 years, is having a baby girl. My heart leaped with joy. She has been another mother to many, many children. It was time for her to have her own. That phone call will never be forgotten. And to think it all happened after some jello shots:) Oh, sweet Adelyn Faith, we will have such a story to tell you (when you are 35).

8. My sassy girl turned TWO years old. Yes, I said TWO. Where did the last two years go?

9. We spent a week at Dauphin Island with our family. The best time I have had in awhile. It was very lazy and relaxing and I enjoyed every minute of it. Especially that pizza that Barkley wanted Brian to get. Tyler and Camden fished for days and Alyse played in a blow up pool on the deck for hours. I actually began reading again on this trip. It had been almost 2 years since I read an entire book. It sparked my love for reading again.

10. In July, I celebrated my 6th year of marriage to the man I love more every day and also celebrated my 34th year of life. My birthday celebration was a BLAST. My family and friends made me feel extremely special. I will never forget that night.

11. I started the school year teaching 3rd grade. I student taught in 3rd grade and loved it. I always said that was what I wanted to teach. So here I am, 10 years later, finally doing it. It has been fabulous. I have a wonderful grade level and the best class I have ever had. I needed this year. I am now "Summer, Who's Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going to Move."  Camden started Kindergarten at my school. I now get to see his face several times throughout the day, which is such a blessing to me.

12. I actually became an aunt for the 12th time. When I found out, I was probably not the most supportive sister. Worry and doubt overtook my joy. But some wise words from a friend helped me see the light. The day I saw Hillary Marie on that ultrasound screen, my heart was happy. Alyse would have a built in best friend. We are very close in our family and I really want to work in 2012 to make our kids as close as we were growing up. Hillary Marie Murphy made her entrance on October 20, 2011. She is a beautiful, beautiful baby girl. My heart melts when I see her.

13. Thanksgiving week I was able to spend time with my nieces, old and young. My heart was filled with happiness and I was very, very thankful.

14. The Christmas season was wonderful. I LOVE buying gifts for my kids and seeing their faces when they get the things they wanted. It brings me such joy!

Some things that deserve an honorable mention: the St.Patty's Day parade (D.A.L's and lemons), the trip to Orange Beach with 30 of my closest friends, Brian's 40th 80's themed birthday party, our 5th and last Halloween party, growing friendships, realizing I have a Board of Directors and hoping that I am there for them as much as they are for me, getting back in church (somewhat regularly:), and just enjoying life.

I will not set any New Year's Resolutions because I do not normally stick with them. However, I will say that I hope to enjoy my life more and worry less. I am excited to see what's in store for the Payne family in 2012.

Making Memories

One day a few weeks ago I was in the car looking out the window and I saw a little girl about 6 or 7 years old riding on the lawnmower with her daddy. Her blonde hair was flowing in the wind and she looked so happy and content. A flood of memories hit me. I used to be that little girl. If my daddy was outside, so was I. If he was fixing something or cutting grass or working in the yard, I was right behind him. Now those who know me probably won't believe this as true, but at one point I was a tomboy. I stayed outside all the time. Rode a three wheeler (yes, one of those dangerous machines that they quit selling). Enjoyed fixing things. Begged to cut the grass. I don't really know when all of that changed, but I'm sure it was around the time I started middle school:) Anyway, I was thinking about riding that lawnmower with my daddy and how Camden rode the lawnmower with my daddy and it made me very happy. I love when those warm memories come over me. I hope my kids will feel the same way someday.
We spent last week at Dauphin Island. It was wonderful. The kids played all day, busying themselves doing beachy things. Tyler fished from the dock and walked over to the beach and fished. Camden fished on the dock until I thought he would turn into one. I believe he would have stayed out on the dock until he literally passed out from tiredness. I watched my baby girl run into the ocean for the first time. Oh how she was in heaven! Scared me to death, but not her! She squealed with happiness when she fell into the water and the waves crashed over her head. So different from my cautious Camden. He wouldn't go near the water when he was her age. We spent lazy days  out on the deck, hanging out with family, fishing, playing in the sand, and walking to the beach. It was probably the most relaxed I have been in a long, long time. Now we are back home and the only thing left from the beach trip are the memories, a few pictures, the stench of fish in the garage from the buckets and cast nets, a little boy with a great tan and some really blonde hair, and a video of a little girl screaming with joy in the ocean. And hopefully, one day, they will see something that reminds them of special times with their momma and daddy, and their hearts will be just as full as mine was when I saw the little blonde girl on the lawnmower.

Fishing on the dock



The fish he almost caught! It was a big one, but it got away!



Got one!

The view I woke up to every day:)

Alyse's first time touching a fish!



No fear in this girl!




This is where Alyse and Layla had playtime every day.




My funny boy!





Loving it!



 I LOVE this picture!

Summertime Television

Normally I watch pretty basic stuff on television. I'm a big American Idol fan. I love The Office. Glee is at the very top of my list. I watch a lot of old reruns like Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond. I do have a guilty pleasure that comes in the form of  Jersey Shore, but other than that my viewing habits are pretty normal. But now, it's summertime. My shows are not new, and I'm staying up WAY later at night than normal. Tonight I have had the pleasure of watching such quality television as Toddlers and Tiaras, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, and Jerry Springer (actually I only heard Jerry Springer from the other room but I have caught an episode or two lately). Most of this is because my husband has control of the remote and seems to be fascinated by weirdos. As I was watching a thrilling episode of  I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, I noticed the TLC logo on the bottom of the screen. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure that stands for "The Learning Channel." In addition to Toddlers and Tiaras and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, this channel houses shows such as Hoarding: Buried Alive, NY Ink, My Strange Additction, Strange Sex, and of course My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. So what exactly are they trying to teach us? Maybe they should change the name to "The Lunatic Channel." It may be more appropriate. At least all of these shows make me feel more normal.  Also, late night television could not be complete without infomercials. Along with my new found obsession with Pajama Jeans, these marketing wonders have also introduced me to products like the Snuggie, the Slap Chop (You're gonna love my nuts!), the Ahhhhh Bra, Bump-Its, the PedEgg, CamiSecret, and of course, Proactive Solution (Bieber and Jessica Simpson use it, so it must be awesome). So when my schedule gets back to normal and I start watching "regular" tv again, I will always have the memories of " I WANNNNNTTTT MYYYYY NIINNNIIIII!" and "Oh my God, there's a head!" and "You ain't my baby daddy, Gerald is" to keep me warm at night (along with my Snuggie:).

Parenting.....or something like it.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.  ~John Wilmot

I remember a time (before I had kids) when I had all the answers for my friends, family, and complete strangers who were parents. No way would I EVER allow my child to act like theirs. MY child would never cry or scream in a store. MY child would never shout NO at me in the yard for all the neighbors to hear. MY child would never burp, poot, or talk about burping or pooting in public. MY child would never be ugly to another child. MY child would never, EVER, hit at me or others, or call me mean! These are just a few of the things I USED to say. Well, I have been properly put in my place and have also learned the hard lesson of NEVER SAYING NEVER (in my head when I type this I hear the promo for the Justin Bieber movie:) Over the past several days all of the above and then some have happened to me. I'm trying really hard to be a consistent, loving parent who never loses her temper, but man is it hard when a five year old boy pees in your garage (yes you read that right) and an almost 2 year old girl looks at you and says, "NO!!" when asked to do something. This week I have taken away a Nintendo DS, a Wii, television privledges, given lots of time outs, and cried....yep, laid in the floor and cried like a baby when the earlier mentioned 5 year old boy screamed for 45 minutes. I almost gave in, but I stood my ground. And things seem to be looking up. No crying or screaming from the boy today. When I told him to come in from outside for dinner, he came. No telling twice or threatening. As I type this he is laying beside me with his head on my shoulder and if I didn't know any better I would think a stranger was impersonating him when he has fits. Being a teacher, I always prayed for kids that would be good at school and in public and act out only at home, and I definitely got my wish. I'm sure that 90% of my friends who will read this do not believe that my precious angel boy could ever do these things....but they happened. However, last week I watched a large group of 4 and 5 year olds have music time and story time during VBS. I can proudly say that my sweet boy was one of the few who sat quietly and listened. He didn't run or scream. He listened to his teachers and other adults. He was kind and respectful. This is the boy I'm raising. I pray that his sister will be as good of a student as he is. She's a little feistier than him, but I know she will look up to him and will want to behave like her brother does when they are away from me. So even though things at home are sometimes hard, I am thankful. Thankful for children who know how to behave when it really, really counts. Thankful for children who love me even though I'm not always the perfect parent. Thankful for friends to call when I feel like I'm the only one with these problems!!!

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.  ~Jean Kerr


Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.  ~Oscar Wilde
Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The Circle

This week I've thought a lot about friendship and what being a friend means. Dictionary. com gives the following defintion:

friend

–noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony. 3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

But really, does this do the word justice? I don't think so. In my lifetime, I have been lucky to have many friends. I have had really good friends that have stuck with me through the years. I have had friends in the moment. I have had friends that are family and will never, ever get away from me. Everywhere I have been in my life, school, different places of work, colleges, I have made new friends. Some that I have kept in constant contact with and some that I found again on Facebook (which is the devil and a blessing at the same time, but that's a whole other blog topic), and some that I don't even see or talk to anymore. But at this point in my life, I feel extremely blessed at the amount and quality of friends I have in my life. I have friends who will listen to me when life doesn't go my way. I have friends who will pray with me, and for me. I have friends who will cook dinner for me after I have a baby. I have friends who will come hang out at my house and "watch" a movie while both my kids are running around screaming. I have friends who will be waiting in my driveway when I get home. I have friends who will let me cry when I need to. I have friends who will sit at the hospital until the wee hours of the night with me when my daddy is sick. I have friends who understand that I am not perfect, that I make mistakes, but will love me unconditionally. I have friends who come to my house when it's filthy and I know they will not judge. I have friends that just show up because even though I don't ask, they know they are needed. I have friends that will keep my kids and truly enjoy doing it. I have friends that LOVE my kids. I have friends that will tell me the truth, even if I don't want to hear it. I have friends that hug me and tell me that they love me. I have friends that don't just hear me, they really listen. I have friends who know what I am going to say before it even comes out of my mouth...maybe before I even think about saying it. There are so many things that I could say about the people that I call friends. Some of these people are family, who have really seen me at my best and at my worst. Who are bound to me by blood, but friends with me by choice. Some of these people are coworkers or former coworkers, who have made it a point to be in my life. I will say that the school I work at now is a very, very special place. People who have never experienced a workplace like mine cannot understand the power that it has. To be able to go every day and work with your best friends is a gift like no other. God definitely had a hand in placing people there. Some of these are friends from school and college, who I may not see every day, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could count on them for anything.

Having this circle, this group of friends, is an amazing, wonderful thing. I can't imagine my life without them. My mother always wished for us to be blessed with good people in our lives, and I'm glad that she can see her wish has come true for me.

 

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

“I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me, I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be; I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant old friend of mine, to me along the way.”

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”

Bedtime

As I wake this morning, my body feels as though it's in the aftermath of a severe workout. That must be it, right? I worked out so hard I'm feeling the impact? Not hardly. My body is sore from the so-called "sleeping arrangements" around this house. For a while, I felt unnormal, but talking to some friends I find that they have some of the same issues. In one night (last night in particular), I slept in Camden's bed, the recliner, my bed, and finally ended up on the couch. Now, I have never claimed to do the right thing in the sending the kids to bed situation. Camden slept with us from the time he was a baby. I was determined to not do that with Alyse...I was good for the first 4 months. She slept in the bassinet. She outgrew it and there was just no way I could make sure she was breathing 400 times a night from my room to hers. So she moved in the bed too. Camden had moved out just in time. For the first little bit, we had to lay down with him in his bed to get him to sleep. Which usually meant one of us slept in there half the night. Then he started falling asleep on his own, which was great. Now 2 years later, we are back to him waking up in the middle of the night and trying to get in our bed. Sometimes I let him, which means we are all four in a QUEEN sized bed....not good. Seriously, if you looked at the space I sometimes have to sleep on, you would think some waif of a model had been laying there. If there were no mirrors, I would think I was super skinny just by looking at the space where I sleep. When I get out of the bed most days, I feel like a 90 year old woman trying to rise. Have you ever seen the movie UP? When the old man gets out of the bed, he has to crack his body back into place. If only it were that simple. After waking up this morning on the couch (which has seen better days) with Alyse, I am vowing to myself to get this bedtime situation under control once and for all. If I start now, by the time the kids are teenagers they will be sleeping by themselves, right?

Home Sweet Home

This past week I spent 3 days at Orange Beach with 30 of my closest friends. No kids, no hubbies,no worries, just sand and sun and an endless lazy river. I had been looking forward to the trip for many months. The last few months have been stressful for me. My dad has been in and out of the hospital and it just seemed like there was one thing happening after another. So a getaway was exactly what I needed. As much as I really wanted to go, I'm always apprehensive about leaving my family. I am, by nature, a worry-wart. I have a very hard time relaxing and have issues giving up my control of the kids. I always know that they are well taken of, but it's a constant nagging feeling. I knew I needed this, so I packed them up and sent them off to various places for a night until their Daddy could pick them up the next night. I was really good the first couple of days. I didn't even really call a whole lot to check on them. I enjoyed laying by the pool, eating dinner with my friends, floating down the lazy river, and listening to the waves crash all around me. My husband was wonderful and only called to ask one thing. "How does Alyse eat a corndog?" See, he knows my fear of choking so he just wanted to make sure. It made me laugh that of all things, that was the question! On the last night there, I started to get antsy. It was a good thing a friend was riding back with me or I would have packed up at 11:00 and driven home! Bright and early Saturday morning, I headed home. The closer I got, the more restless I got (not to mention as I turned into my neighborhood Daughtry's "I'm Coming Home" was playing on the radio!). When I pulled into the driveway, I literally jumped out of the car and ran to the front door. The door was open so I could see through the glass door to the living room. Here was the scene: sweet hubby laying on the couch, sweet boy lounging in the recliner, coloring and watching tv, and sweet baby girl laying on the floor on her stomach, coloring like a big girl. When I walked in, I heard "Momma's home!!" I hugged my babies tight and tears streamed down my face. Now, I know that I was only gone 3 days, and that some people may think that I'm crazy, but this life that I've built, with this man and these children is the most important thing to me. I am so very, very blessed and I want to never, ever take them for granted. I really believe that absence does make the heart grow fonder....if it's the truest desire of your heart:)